Uses what is common between them to communicate his point, in this case, water from the well (and later “water that you will never thirst” 4:10-14).Ĭ. Talks to her without condemnation having her best interests in mind (4:7-26).ī. When Jesus approaches her at the well he:Ī. She was immoral in addition, the man she was living with was not her husband further making her disrespected among the Samaritans who were already looked down upon. She was a multiple divorcee, Jewish cultured allowed for maybe two or three divorces but this woman had five.Ĥ. She was woman, in those days considered lower than a man and some placed women just a little higher than animals.ģ. Jewish people hated Samaria so much that in their travels, they would rather travel around Samaria at great inconvenience rather than travel through.Ģ. She was Samaritan, considered a half-breed between Jew and Assyrian. In John 4, Jesus has a crucial conversation with a Samaritan woman, who herself had some distinct personal challenges:ġ. įor Jesus, crucial conversations were a hallmark of his ministry. So take some time to purify your intent beforehand, and remember that your half of the conversation is only about you. How do you create mutual respect when someone is behaving poorly? Remember that people never get defensive about what you’re saying they become defensive because of why they think you’re saying it.

(This won’t work, obviously, if you don’t actually care.) Create mutual respect, let them know that you care about them. This creates the condition of mutual purpose. Help the other party/person know that you care about their interests and goals, almost as much as they do. Grenny states two things need to happen in order for the conversation to be successful: What happens in the first moments of the conversation is crucial. Whether or not it is in business, education, athletics, matrimony, or relationships, crucial conversations are necessary for progress. This in a nutshell illustrates why crucial conversations are essential. The organization continues on as usual when it could have taken a step of growth to become better. The business is functional but if a specific change can occur in the leader’s style, even more effectiveness will be produced and a healthier culture will result.īut the problem is that no one is willing or courageous enough to tell this person in charge that they need to do a few things differently and rather than making the him/her aware of their short coming(s), everyone remains quite and nothing changes. And how we approach those conversations has everything to do with whether we prepare for and anticipate them.” Is your organization, institution, or relationship “stuck” or in a rut? One must ask: “What crucial conversation are we not holding or not holding well?” įor example, imagine you are working for a boss that clearly needs to have a crucial conversation on the subject of how things are being run. Grenny said, “The effect of how you behave in these moments carry on long past the moment itself has passed. You expect someone else to disagree with you.Based on the 2014 Willow Creek Leadership Summit, Jospeh Grenny and associates have argued for “Crucial Conversations,” defined as “a discussion between two or more people where stakes are high, opinions vary and emotions run strong.” ĭuring the 2014 Willow Creek Leadership Summit, Grenny claimed for three aspects that effect moments more than others: Human and corporate destiny can rest on the ability of individuals to communicate what they are thinking and feeling to others who can appropriate change.

There are moments in a relationship, institution, or organization that are vital in taking the next step of progress and carry a disproportionate amount of influence. College of Education & Behavioral SciencesĬommunication is the basic foundation for all human connection.

Crucial conversations book study